Priceless
by daysandweeks
Summary: You may wonder why I, Rose, am in the hospital wing or why I have a tail. I would love to provide you with the answers to these strange yet natural questions. However, I cannot. I can't remember a damned thing from last night. Albus, Rose/Scorpius


So here I, Rose Weasley, sit in the hospital wing, playing with my tail and contemplating what to do next.

You may wonder why I am in the hospital wing. Or, more likely, you may wonder why I have a tail. I would love to provide you with the answers to these strange yet natural questions. However, it appears that I cannot. For starters, I'm too busy pondering how I'm going to get my life back together and my reputation back—I wanted to be Head Girl, after all. But really, the main reason I can't credit any reason to my current situation is simple.

You see, I've just woken up. According to the clock on the wall, it's eight—in the morning, I guess. And I can't remember a damned thing from last night.

I gaze at the bed to my left, playing with my tail in the meantime. I should mention that I haven't had a tail before this morning, at least that I ever was aware of. Also, my tail is thin, black, and velvety smooth to the touch with a charming triangular tip in bright blue, accompanied by blue tufts of fuzz. I suppose that, as far as tails go, this is one of the best of the lot. A dragon tail really wouldn't go with my look. A fish tail would be weird.

Oh, and Scorpius Malfoy is in the bed to my left. He has a mark on his cheek. And lipstick on his collar. Bright red lipstick.

Hmm, come to think of it, I wore that color last night. Clashed with my hair a bit, but apparently Scorpius didn't mind too much…

No matter. I turn to the bed to my right and see Albus Potter, my cousin and best mate. He's just waking up now and eyes me, confused. "Are we in the hospital wing?" he asks.

"I suppose so," I say with a nod. "Listen, do you remember a bit about last night?"

Albus sits up and takes a moment to adjust to this new position. "Um. No."

I turn to Scorpius once more. He's still sound asleep. "Scorpius," I hiss, and Albus jumps around to sit on the edge of my bed, surprised to see his other best mate here. "Scorpius," I say again, and Albus joins me this time.

Scorpius wakes up and rubs his eyes and then his cheek, which must be sore. Before he has time to properly take everything in, Albus says, "Do you remember shit about last night?"

Scorpius sits up in bed. He massages the back of his neck. Then, in a quiet tone, he says, "Well, it started off with some firewhisky."

I remember that. Albus seems to as well. He nods while I murmur, "_Some_. What an understatement."

"The rest is hazy but…" Scorpius continues but then pauses to pat at the pockets of his robes, which are still on. From one pocket, he produces a vile full of a swirling silver liquid. Then, he turns to me. "I vaguely remember going to bed last night. In here. You said, 'I want to put this night on repeat. It's priceless.' So I said, 'Why not take the memory and give it to me? I've got a Pensieve in my dormitory.' But the thing is, when you're drunk and you do magic, umm…" He shrugs. "You might've erased the memory of last night in your brain, Rose. This should still be good, though." He shakes the vile.

"Then how come I don't remember anything either?" Albus asks. "Do you have my memory too?"

Scorpius pats his other pockets but then shakes his head upon finding them empty. He shrugs and says, "Same reason I don't." Then, with a laugh, he adds, "We were wasted."

xx

We sneak out of the hospital wing and make our way to the Room of Requirement, begging for a room with a Pensieve big enough for three. Doing so is easier than sneaking into the Slytherin dorms at this time on a Sunday morning. Once inside, Scorpius dumps my memory into the Pensieve, and in we plunge.

Oh, Merlin. What did I getting myself into?

xx

The three of us sit in the Slytherin common room. I'm a Gryffindor and Albus and Scorpius are Slytherins, so Albus and I usually take turns hanging out in different common rooms. We're spending time with Albus's other good friend, Scorpius, tonight though, so majority rules. Into the pit of snakes I ventured, lured by Scorpius's stock of firewhisky.

By stock I mean one bottle. However, by bottle I mean one of those large bottles with a handle. That sits practically empty between us now.

It's late, so the common room is void of anyone but us. We keep quiet, not wanting to attract attention. I down a shot and snicker after wincing as it winds down my throat. Albus laughs. Scorpius rolls his eyes.

Albus is the first to speak. "I ran away from my heart to Paris," he confesses, "but my heart followed me."

I roll my eyes and say, "Albus, you've never been to Paris."

"Yes, but I should've gone."

Oh dear. I realize now that this whole night of mayhem began after Albus spent the entire week in a funk after his girlfriend broke up with him. I forget her name. Some Slytherin fourth year tart. Who cares? Memory-Me downs another shot. Scorpius follows suit.

"She left me," Albus continues, his voice on the verge of weepy, "because I'm so…what's the word…I dunno."

"Shut up, mate," Scorpius says in an annoyed tone. "We've got one evening and a bottle of firewhisky. Let's forget What's-her-name and have some fun." Though I don't think I heard it then, now 'What's-her-name' sounds more like 'Whashernem'.

"We don't have a bottle any longer," I note. "Just…shots. I don't know how many. Not enough."

Not enough indeed. That's why I ended up with a tail, isn't it?

But there Memory-Me goes, pouring out shots all around. Albus sniffles after he drinks his. "She's perfect, Annabelle is."

I won't have any of this whining over ex-girlfriends, apparently. "Oh in the name of Merlin and all other long-bearded wizards," I groan, sliding the bottle as far away from Albus as possible – but so that it's still within my reach, of course. "Stop whining, Al. We're going to have fun tonight. Loads of fun. Loads."

"Loads," Scorpius repeats with a wink. He's clearly making fun of my drunken state despite the fact that he is quite toasted as well. I turn to present Scorpius beside me and shove him. He pretends that he's hurt and snickers while rubbing his arm.

Suddenly, Memory-Scorpius gets an idea. "You know what, Al. We're going to find you a new girl to snog tonight. We'll use your map and take a secret passage to Hogsmeade and… Yeah. You'll snog some girl. I dunno."

We all think this is a great idea for some strange reason and Al totters up to his dorm to grab the map, leaving Scorpius and me alone. I can only imagine what is going on in the boys' dormitory at this moment. In the memory, though, Scorpius and I don't seem to care.

We finish off the bottle. This has got to be where the blackout comes in. A few minutes pass and I frown. "Where's Albus?"

Scorpius shrugs. "He's taking awfully long. I should go check on him." He's quiet for a moment and then makes a strange face. "Oh Merlin. What if… Rose," he says, a strange look on his face, "what if he's found someone up _there_ to snog?"

"In the boys' dormitory?" I ask, confused. "I mean… Well I don't think he fancies boys…"

"I've disturbed myself with my own scenario," Scorpius says sadly.

Suddenly, Albus appears at the top of the staircase. "What scenario?" he asks. We ignore him but he quickly moves on, anyway, noticing the empty bottle. "You drank it all?" he asks, aghast and a bit too loud.

"Yes. No. Maybe." That's me. I'm so brilliant and clever, aren't I?

Scorpius, thankfully, changes the subject. "Are we going to Hogsmeade or not?" he asks, standing up with what at the time seemed like a confident swagger to me. Now, I notice that he's just having difficulty keeping balance, especially when I lean on him for support to stand up as well.

From there the three of us exit the common room, giggling. Presently, I roll my eyes as our more hungover selves keep pursuit. Scorpius accidentally steps on my tail. I let out a loud laugh and Albus shushes me, as if anyone in this world can even hear us.

It's just a few trips and what appear to be quiet flirtations between Scorpius and me (oh, what liquor does to my poor soul) – and then our group is in Hogsmeade.

"I could go for a bite to eat," Scorpius states, evidently forgetting about Mission: Find Make-Out Partner for Albus.

"I could too," I agree.

"Me three!" Albus chimes.

Clearly we all have the drunk munchies, so we practically run to the nearest bar, one of the only venues open at this time of night, where we plop down in a booth and scan the menus. "I could go for a steak," Scorpius says, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. He always has had an expensive taste.

"Mmmm," I practically moan. "I'll have a nice, juicy burger." It's strange that I say this. I rarely eat red meat. "You, Al?"

Albus, seated across from us, crinkles his nose in distaste. "I decided to be a vegetarian," he announces in the most serious of voices, sitting up straight, "because of an accident that occurred dealing with James and a pig."

Though my present self dissolves into a fit of giggles, followed by Scorpius and a flummoxed Albus, Memory-Scorpius says in a concerned voice, "My God, is James alright?" Before Albus has time to respond, he adds, "And steaks and burgers aren't made from pig, you idiot."

We never get our meals, though. The waitress, a woman not much older than us, walks up to the table and asks, "Aren't you all supposed to be at Hogwarts?"

Now, I realize that the pretty young woman asked us this in a friendly, even flirtatious tone. In the memory, though, we are all clearly worried about the consequences of being caught out of school. "No!" Albus nearly yelps, though it's clear to me now that the girl has taken _some_ sort of fancy to him and easily could have been his hook-up for the evening. "No! Not at all! We're just going now!"

The three of us scramble out of the booth. I accidentally shove the girl on the way out and make fast apologies as Scorpius helps me up. Presently, we barely have to trot to keep up with our drunken memory selves, but by the time we reach the alley that's our horrible hide-out, the memories are incredibly winded.

"Close one," I say with a sigh, running a sleeve across my brow.

"Very close," Scorpius agrees, holding onto my arm as if to steady himself.

Albus breathes deeply and then turns to us. "I'll be look out. I'll make sure no one followed us out." He creeps to the end of the alley and Scorpius and I wait in suspense, huddled together. Al pops his head around the corner and then jumps nearly two feet in the air before running back to us and knocking us over.

My memory-self, backed into the corner of the alley, attempts to stand up but can't. Scorpius is on top of me though neither of us seems to notice the awkwardness of the situation. Now I notice the waitress from the bar headed down the alley and Albus eyeing her from his spot plastered against the side wall, as if standing as close as possible to it will somehow camouflage him.

The girl walks towards Scorpius and me and then bends down to face us properly. "Are you alright?"

Scorpius and I, caught, jump but still don't manage to get up. I bite my lip. Then, assumedly realizing that this pretty blonde girl means us no harm, I mumble, "I managed to get myself stuck in a very small corner with a withered Slytherin."

Currently, I can't help but turn to face Scorpius who eyes me rather funnily. "Withered?" he asks. "Do I look _withered_?"

I bite my lip, imitating my memory as I try to come up with a response. Involuntarily my eyes jump to the lipstick on Scorpius's collar. When will we get to _that_ part? Hopefully this waitress isn't about to snog him. Her lipstick's red too.

"Look," the girl says, helping us up. I stand with some difficulty while Scorpius rights himself on the wall. "I don't care if you're from Hogwarts or not, but you really should head back if you don't want to get in trouble." She winks at us and then turns to Albus and winks as well. He appears to take his positively and inches towards our small group. "I just graduated last year and I _know_ how bad detentions can be."

Albus sidles up next to the girl now and nonchalantly leans a hand against the brick wall between them. "Don't I know it," he says, returning her wink.

The girl just laughs. "Anyway," she says, "my name is Tessa and I have absolutely no customers. So why don't you guys come on in and eat? It'll sober you up a bit and then you can get back to Hogwarts as quickly as possible."

We decide to take Tessa's advice, which honestly is very good, and trot back to the bar, plopping into the seats we'd occupied moments before. I sit next to Scorpius and Albus sits across from us. When Tessa finishes bringing our orders, she scoots into the booth beside him.

We chat amiably during the meal, remembering to properly introduce ourselves at some point. The talk is pretty dull, though drunken, until Albus chimes in with a particular winner. He rolls up the sleeve of his pale green button-down shirt to show a scar on his forearm. I know for a fact that he earned this scar at the age of eight – after falling down the stairs – but he always uses it to attract girls. I turn to Scorpius in both the memory and presently and roll my eyes. Current-Albus notices this action and punches me playfully.

"Oh my gosh!" Tessa exclaims, obviously a sucker. "How'd you get that?" Her fingers trace the thin white line on Albus's arm.

Albus lets out a quick, faux-pained sigh. "I was viciously attacked by a wereflamingo," he announces without so much as cracking a smile, "a.k.a. Teddy Lupin."

Alright, so it was Teddy who accidentally caused him to fall down the steps that day. And his hair was a bright pink at the time. Close enough.

"No way," Tessa says before cracking up and smacking Albus playfully. Al seemed to forget she was sober in telling his story, and she notes this. "What bullshit!"

"It's the truth!" Scorpius insists, which shocks me enough to giggle.

Tessa rolls her eyes and stands up. "_Riiiight_," she says with a laugh. "Look, I'll get you guys your bill and then you can head on your way. And I'll give you my discount, alright?"

"But wait!" I exclaim, and I already know that this is going to be bad. "You haven't snogged Al yet!"

Albus lets out a groan and cradles his head in his hands. "You guys are so _embarrassing_!" he cries out.

Present-Scorpius glares at Al. "What have I done wrong?"

He's about to find out. "Look," Memory-Scorpius says, jumping up from his seat and grabbing Tessa's arm. She's laughing again, looking at Al, but then turns to Scorpius. "Will you accept my preposition?"

This starts Tessa into a new fit of laughter. I giggle as well, though currently I'm a bit upset that Scorpius has a _prop_osition for Tessa. "That's a grammatical term," I explain to Albus, who doesn't seem to get what's so funny.

"A what?" he questions.

"Like… I dunno. It's a grammar term. Like a noun, only not." I begin rattling off common prepositions, accidentally throwing in a few adjectives in as well, "From. On. Over. Colorful. Under. Wrong."

Albus appears to be very confused. "Shut up!" he exclaims, cradling his head in his hands once more. "I'm trying to listen to you," he adds in a low groan.

Tessa pulls Scorpius back to the subject at hand. "What's your _proposition_?" she asks.

"You snog Al," he whispers so Albus won't hear him, "and…we eat for free," he says, as if this makes perfect sense. "Yeah. So, snog Al."

Tessa leans away from Scorpius. "Horrible plan, mate," she announces. "How about I get you that bill?"

The bill is paid and we leave the establishment, headed back to school. "_That_ was uneventful," Al groans. "I didn't so much as get a kiss."

"I tried to help you, mate," Scorpius says, slinging an arm around Al's shoulder and then around mine. We head up the path until Albus slumps to the ground. Panic immediately strikes my present self, though Albus stands perfectly healthy beside me. When I notice that he's snoring, though, all seems well.

"Great," Scorpius groans, "Al fell asleep."

"We'll have to carry him back," I say. "Or use magic." So practical!

Scorpius nods and pulls out his wand but then I stop him, waving my arms dramatically as I stare at Al in his strange little lump on the ground. "Wait!" I hiss, turning to gaze at Scorpius. "We're drunk." No kidding. "What if we," I say before dropping my voice to a complete whisper, "_fuck this up_?"

What, am I worried Professor Longbottom's around the corner, waiting to tell my parents I said the "F word" but not caring at all that I'm drunk and breaking curfew? Still, as far as my idea goes, I'm on a roll.

"You're right," Scorpius agrees.

"Practice on me," I offer, throwing practicality out the proverbial window.

"Well," Scorpius notes, "Mobilicorpus isn't going to work. You're not passed out."

"Shit," I hiss. "What's that other spell?"

A devious look appears on Scorpius's face and he points his wand at me, but I'm too inebriated and slow to reach for my wand and defend myself. "_Penis-corpus!_" he yells.

Presently, I force my eyes shut. "Oh, God, I can't look."

I can _hear_ what's going on, though. Present-Al and Present-Scorpius are cracking up. I can hear my memory screech, "Did you just try to give me a _penis_?"

"Of course not!" That's Scorpius. Suddenly, his voice becomes tender. "Merlin, Rose," he says, "the last thing I want on you is a cock."

Alright, that sounded romantic somehow. I dare to pop an eye open. In the memory, Scorpius is now standing very close to me.

"Smooth moves," Current-Al murmurs before making a gagging noise.

I notice now what Scorpius has done, though my memory doesn't. There's my tail, emerging from my jeans. Scorpius reaches around me and fingers it playfully. "_Penis_," he announces, unable to stop himself from smirking at the word, "is Latin for tail. I gave you a tail."

My memory is blushing, obviously as affected by Scorpius's nearness as I am watching the memory. I'm oddly conscious of his body beside mine but don't dare meet his eye. Alright, in all honestly, I've had a crush on the bloke for ages now. But what was there to do about it? He's one of my best mates. But now – last night – he's playing with my tail and…

"You're pushing my buttons, Scorpius Malfoy," I whisper before he leans in and kisses me.

I'm swept away in this surprisingly romantic moment. I dare to meet Scorpius's eye and look away immediately when I notice that he's staring at me. Our present awkward connection is interrupted by more gagging noises from Al, who Scorpius and I both glare at.

In the memory, we're really going at it, though. We wind up on the ground beside Al, a tangle of limbs. Oh, Merlin – how I wish I could have remembered this _without_ the Pensieve! I've wanted this to happen for years now! Blushing more than I've ever blushed before, I chance yet another glance at Scorpius. He tentatively reaches for my hand and squeezes it, which Al notices. "Ew," he murmurs.

Memory-Al notices too. We're making an awful lot of sucking noise, which is embarrassing now, really. He wakes up at and proceeds to sit up, rubbing the side of his head. A small egg has formed from his fall. He notices us kissing and then blanches before yelling, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

Scorpius and I jump apart. Perhaps the liquor is wearing off, because it seems our reaction times are no longer delayed. We sit up and I exclaim, "Scorpius pushed my buttons and we ended up on the floor!" Okay, the liquor definitely still has its effect.

"Great. Just great," Al grumbles, standing up and wobbling a bit. "I'll head back to Hogwarts on my own."

Alright. Normally I'd run up and chase after Albus. Prima donna or not, he's my cousin and best friend. I would never intentionally hurt his feelings. I'm sure Scorpius would generally react in the same way. Last night, though, we apparently didn't. We took this as our cue to continue snogging, allowing Al to storm off, murmuring, "I'm unnoticed and undepreciated. Underpreciated. Undefecated. Something."

Scorpius's hand is up my blouse now. "Wankers," Present-Al mumbles.

Memory-Me finally remembers her morals, it seems. "We've got to go after Al," I say, pulling away from Scorpius.

Scorpius frowns. "He left?"

"Worst. Friends. Ever." That's Present-Albus, not to be confused with Past-Albus who is falling up the hill on the way to Hogwarts.

I pull Scorpius to his feet alongside me. "I just want to stay here with you all night," Scorpius tells me.

I nod. "I know," I tell him. "I really like you."

"I really like you too."

Presently, Scorpius squeezes my fingers again and I suppose he's trying to tell me he meant those words. I squeeze his hand back as Al resumes gagging.

"I'm still mad about the tail, though," Memory-Me murmurs.

"Fancy that," I murmur now. "I still am."

"But the thing is," Memory-Me continues, "Al's our best mate. We've got to go after him. That's what my head says." Smart thinking, that head of mine. "My heart wants to be with you, though. So… Is the right path to follow my heart or head?" So philosophical! Even though the answer's obvious…

It's not obvious to Memory-Scorpius, though. He suddenly pulls me to him and then snakes a finger around a belt-loop on my jeans. "Or can the truth be found somewhere in between?" he asks with a cheeky wink.

"Wanker!" I exclaim in both the past and present, and we're all a fit of giggles until Scorpius and I run off to catch up to Albus who temporarily forgets about our transgressions.

We follow our memories back to Hogwarts where we manage to sneak in undetected. "Do you know how to remove my tail?" I ask both Scorpius and Al, the latter of whom doesn't seem to be phased by this new development. Neither of them knows.

We're about to part ways to our separate common rooms when Scorpius wraps an arm around me. "What are we going to do anyway?" I ask. "We need...proper…medical…care…" Apparently I've developed a speech impediment.

"Yes," Al agrees. "I've got a lump on my head."

"And Rose has got a sexy tail," Scorpius says.

I pull away from him. "Are you a furry?" I ask, my nose wrinkled in disgust.

"What's a furry?" Al asks.

Scorpius makes a funny face at him. "We'll tell you when you're older." To me, he adds in a paranoid tone, "Not that I am."

"But what are we going to do?" I moan, bringing us back to the topic at hand.

"Let's sleep in the hospital wing," Albus suggests. "Someone can help us in the morning."

We think this is a great idea and head off. When we reach the hospital wing, which is empty, we each claim a bed. I rest in the middle, Al to my right and Scorpius to my left.

"I don't think I can handle this," Al says with a sigh. Oh, great. We've gone full circle.

"People never handle things, Al," I say. Oh, great again! It looks like I fancy myself to be a philosopher once more. "They just harbor things until their docks are full." I pause and sigh as well. "And some people have very large docks."

Scorpius sort of squirms in his bed. "I have a very large dock." Present-Scorpius pulls his hand from mine, obviously abashed.

"This is why I'm not talking to you, Scorpius," Memory-Albus spits. "You're shagging my cousin."

"He is not," I retort. "We snogged. Snogging is not shagging."

"But it moves to that," Scorpius suggests. Oh, way to go, Rose! You sure pick winners!

Al somehow manages wordless, wandless magic now, though I don't think it's intentional – it's sort of like when we were children and unable to control our impulses. A loud smack sounds and Scorpius let out a cry before cupping his cheek. A-ha! So that's where that mark came from. I forgot to check earlier, but I guess the lipstick appeared during our make-out session on the ground.

We're quiet for a bit until Al lets out a content sigh, apparently having moved on from his gloomy state. "I had fun tonight. Did you guys?" He seems to have forgotten about ignoring Scorpius, too.

"Yeah, Al, this is great!" Scorpius exclaims. He doesn't seem to have overlooked the ignoring thing, though, and must have assumed Albus's question was aimed solely at me. "Just you, me, and this brick wall you built between us."

I'm too intoxicated to understand metaphors. Did that hamburger help me at all? "Hey!" I exclaim. "I'm not a brick wall! And Al didn't build me. My mum and dad did."

"Ew," Al groans. "Those are my _relatives_."

We're quiet again and Al is the first to doze off, his snoring very faint. "Hey, Rose," Scorpius whispers. "Wanna join me?"

I squirm in my bed. "Well… Scorpius, I can't. Al is here and…" I trail off, evidently trying to come up with a better excuse. Al's presence didn't stop us in the village, after all. "And God is watching," I add.

"If God is watching us," Scorpius says with what I can now see is a wink, "the least we can do is be entertaining."

I giggle and then offer him some strange form of placation. I screw up my eyes a bit and then gradually stretch my tail until it touches Scorpius's hand. He holds it as if it's my own hand and smiles at me warmly.

Presently, I move to slide my tail into Scorpius's hand as a sort of reflection, but Memory-Albus's voice pulls us from our connection in both times. "Relatives," he groans, awake again.

"You're not thinking about my parents again, are you?" I ask. _That_ certainly kills the mood. My tail curls back my way, dangling off of the side of my bed.

"No," Al announces, his voice slurred by alcohol and sleep. "It's just… Lily has always been that object in your cupboard that you just don't have the heart to throw away."

Oh no, not this again.

We let Al go on, not saying a word. He moans about his family, about Annabelle, about not snogging Tessa, about Scorpius and me snogging, about Scorpius indeed having a bigger port than he has because he accidentally saw it when they were changing after Quidditch once. "Awkward. So awkward. Scarred me for life."

I completely forget about my recent brush with Scorpius's hand. Penises – why do men have such fascination with them? And why is the idea of my cousin seeing my love interest's cock so embarrassing?

"It's just, I loved Annabelle. So I'm lost now. When you're so lost you want to rip your organs out through your throat and smear them all over everyone around you, just so they know you exist…"

He doesn't continue, thankfully. I make a gagging noise in the memory, though I feel like throwing up in my present life as well. "I'm gonna hurl," I announce from my bed, but thankfully I don't.

"That's it!" Scorpius announces. He's had enough of Al's antics. "We're going to bed."

"But we're already in bed." That's me. Such a wise one!

"To sleep then," Scorpius says. "Let's start counting sheep."

And so on we go. Al says "one" and I follow with "two". Scorpius says "three" and so on.

When Scorpius reaches twenty-four, Al begins to crack up laughing. If I've learned anything from this memory, it's that my cousin is the worst in our lot at handling his alcohol. After a full minute of laughing, I grow annoyed but Scorpius just smirks. "Hey, Albus," he says. "I know something funnier than twenty-four!"

"Yeah?" Albus asks between laughs, obviously excited.

"Twenty-five!"

Laughter ensues until Al finally quiets and dozes off. He murmurs, "I'm mad."

I know he must be sleep-talking, but my memory form asks, "What's the matter, Albus?"

"I can't see my forehead."

He's asleep now. Scoripus and I smile at one another. My tail winds its way into his hand once more. "I really like you," he tells me. "Sorry about the tail."

"It's alright," I say with a shrug. "It…brought us together."

"After years of me liking you," Scorpius admits.

"Years?" I whisper in the darkness. "I've liked you for years too."

I reach for his hand again in the present. Al gags again. I'll have to sort him out after this.

"I want to put this night on repeat," I whisper, falling asleep. "It's priceless."

And the memory is over. In the Room of Requirement, my head is still spinning from my hangover. Al eyes us and frowns. "Worst friends ever, like I said last night," he says with a wink.

"Sorry, mate," Scorpius says, headed over to his friend.

"Yeah, same," I say, following suit.

Al shrugs. "It's fine, guys. You tried. We had a fun time, didn't we?"

I laugh and Scorpius does as well. "The best," I say.

Al smirks. "I'm dead," he says with a yawn. "I'm off to sleep. How about you two try to get rid of that, erm…tail." He laughs and points as me as he exits the Room of Requirement.

"I kind of like the tail," I say with a small pout.

Scorpius laughs. "About last night…" he trails off before eventually saying, "I um, meant what I said."

"I did too."

Shyly, he reaches for my tail and twirls it between his fingers. "I think it might be Abdo-penis but I don't suggest you chance it on me."

"I'll get it sorted out," I say with a shrug.

We're awkwardly quiet for a bit, though I find a strange comfort in the silence, picturing next year. We didn't get caught so we likely won't get in any trouble – and furthermore… Scorpius likes me. I like Scorpius. A world of possibilities lies before us.

"So did you really enjoy last night?" he asks.

I smile warmly and begin to play with my tail as well. Our fingers brush. "Like I said, I want to put it on repeat."

Scorpius leans in and kisses me. It's our first kiss that I actually remember, and I'm lost in the feel of his lips against my own. When we separate, he drops my tail. "Priceless," he murmurs.

"Yeah, last night really was," I say with a grin.

"I meant you."

**A/N:**_ Written for the Bad Summaries Challenge, Funny Quotes Challenge, and Spongebob Quotes Challenge over at HPFC. Therefore, some of this hilarity is my own, but it's mostly inspired by challenges. That is, if you did find it funny, which was my goal. Either way, please review._


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